Mr. Shaman tank: Nêmô - Moonrunner

The problem: With nothing better to do on a Tuesday afternoon, I decided to tank some randoms. PoS was assigned to me, which is very easy. The first boss has a bunch of adds that are usually dps'd down right away upon pulling. I pulled, lagged a whole bunch, and when the packets of information came through, I had found that I had nearly 15 stacks of the frost debuff...along with all the adds attacking me. I tanked the boss and spread my diseased to said adds, and once the boss was down a few adds were still alive. I must have been the only one to attack them, even though my group consisted of a rogue, a shaman, and a hunter. All of these classes have good aoe so there was no reason why the adds should have been alive. Anyways, I said in party chat, "Don't bother killing the wrathbones" which the shaman replied, "don't want to." That made me chuckle, a dps not wanting to kill things. Two can play that game. This same shaman, named Nêmô by the way, decided that he would be smart and ride his Celestial Steed through the pathway before the second boss...right into the pack of geists, whilst I lagged behind watching. His pet elemental tanked them all for a while while I studied what he was doing, but then that died and all threat went to the shaman, killing him. Not wanting the rest of the group to pay for Nêmô's stupidity, I dropped a D&D, sparing everyone from death. Evidently the shaman didn't enjoy dying, as he asked why I had just stood there. I replied, "Didn't want to." If he didn't want to do his job and dps, why should I have to do my job and tank, especially when he thinks that he can do it. I explained this to him, just in time for me to get kicked, mid-pull. But that's fine, they could continue without a tank.

The solution: Do your job and I will do mine, Nêmô. Don't be an idiot and run into a group of mobs on your Algalonesque horsey and think that I will spare you your life when I already think that you are an idiot. I bid you good luck in your WoW ventures.

Today was a good day.

I'm currently in 25 ICC and have obtained 264 tank bracers. An arms warrior received a nice 264 ring to replace a 264 ring and DBW. What a joke. Peculiarly, there is only one other death knight in here with me.

Bad rogue, bad Cyrist - Emerald Dream

The problem: After a lovely evening eating at Pair-O-Lakes with my family, I found myself at home logged into Azeroth and tanking some random heroic dungeons. Utgard Pinnacle was where Drstamos found himself, together with a retadin, mage, priest, and rogue. Through the first boss, the rogue was pulling a pathetic 900 dps, so I decided to inspect him. All I looked at was his spec and poison choice: 60 points in subtlety and crippling mh deadly oh. Such a sad, sad choice. I just had to say, "lol subtlety" in party chat and was informed that it was a "pvp spec." Firstly, subtlety is dead in all forms of the game, sans role playing maybe. Secondly, we were doing a dungeon which is pve. There is no reason for a rogue to have to dps in a pvp spec in a pve setting EVER. I let him know that, but of course the reply I got was, "it's only a heroic." Well shit, if it's only a heroic who cares what anybody does in it, right? I decided that I didn't want to tank the second boss, so I didn't, but who cares, it's only a heroic. Everybody in the group died, except me as I have the survivability of something that never dies. The rogue had some choice words for me just before he quit the group:

http://a.yfrog.com/img267/426/whatguild.jpg

To reiterate, the rogue said, "you r worthless, u fuck, go get run through to get all your gear, you worthless fuck, i hate people who r in guilds to get the geasr"

There is so much wrong with statement. Firstly, my guild has two active members, three if you count the guy who only logs on to do a daily. I haven't been in a raiding guild and actually attended a guild raid in over three months. My gear has come from grinding VoA, 4/12 trade chat pugs, Emblems of Frost, buying with gold, and other means that is not fun. In other words, I have worked my ass off for the gear that I have. I obviously am not in my guild to get gear. Secondly, since my guild consists of two players I cannot get "run through" to get all my gear. Thirdly, as you can tell by the screen shot, I was doing 34.1% of the damage while the rogue was doing 9.0% of the damage. Pretending I was a dps for a moment, who is worth more to a group, a person doing 34.1% of the damage or a person doing 9% of the damage? I believe the answer is obvious. Now factor in that I was the tank, the leader of the run who had to worry about positioning, aggro, and more. I believe this makes me far from worthless. Of course I was worthless when I decided not to tank and the group died, which just shows how valuable I am when I do choose to do my job, which is 99% of the time.

The solution: Cyrist should get a pve spec, instant poison, and a brain so he can pull at least 3k dps in a heroic. Then he should drop his prejudices about people in guilds, especially guilds with alternating lowercase and uppercase letters. Oh yeah, the Reins of the Blue Proto-Drake dropped and I won them.

Sulfuras, Hand of Ragnaros

Grinding rep has gotten a bit dull. There is very little challenge in killing level 65 ogres. What is fun is besting BC and Old World content. One of the first raids was Molten Core, a ten boss cavern which is quite fun to run solo and with a partner. The final boss, Ragnaros, has about a 2% chance to drop an item to turn a crafted 2H mace into a legendary. I want this. Obviously, this will not be easy, but all the necessary items to complete my goal can be found in MC. With the exceptional help of Kaboosh, a druid who just hit 80, we were able to kill the last 8 bosses in there in about two hours. There was a bit of a learning curve, but I reckon we could clear the place in under two hours. Doing that once per week should not be difficult at all.

Ballin.

Two idiot shaman in one group? Mongolito and Zuljoe - Twisting Nether

Lately, on Drstamos I have been grinding reputation. I think it would be pretty awesome to be Drstamos the Exalted. It will be a long road but will be worth it. Of course, I have to tank a random heroic every day to keep my skills sharp.

The problem: I got Azjol Nerub today, a faceroll dungeon that is pretty close to soloable, sans web rap. The first pull is two spiders that deal virtually zero damage, so the second I ported in I went to tanking them. This really disturbed the healer, Mongolito, as he yelled, "u stupid tnk im not redy, i hope u die, noob." Of course, I didn't die, I did 90% of the damage and healing that pull. After blowing through the first boss, the same healer fell off the walkway, aggro'd the mobs, and died. This made me chuckle. I piped up and said I was indeed a "noob tnk" and tanked the next boss without a healer. I like to rush in on Anub and see how many people fail to keep up and get locked out. I did this and Mongolito said, "i would loled, if u started it with out me, nub." To be honest, I would have "loled" too. I decided to just let thing mellow for a bit after I got 150k ahead of the next closest dps in threat, getting called a fail tank repeatedly. It was especially satisfying when Mongolito ran out of mana and died while I just stood there and /yawned. Up to this point, Zuljoe had been telling Mongolito to knock it off, but he decided to critique my tanking gear: "LOL he's tanking in wrathful and only one sanc, fail." This is true, I use a 264 pvp neck and a 270 pair of pvp pants. If I were to use the tank gear I have for these slots, I would be using a 226 neck with hit, bringing me to a whopping 340 hit, and a 232 pair of pants with 100+ less stamina and expertise, which ultimately does nothing for survivability. Of course the judgment came from a person who can't outdamage the tank, even though he just stands there for the final boss.

The solution: Don't talk or fall off walkways in dungeons.

Today, Drsaget /gquit Aeon.

I thought nobody would give a shit, but Knucklerot told me, "I should have kicked your worthless ass a while ago."

How did he know that I was worthless?

I have been contemplating leaving Aeon for a while now. Recently, a number of other players have quit, leaving the guild a mere shell of its former self. Galadryall was the only current member who I liked and respected. A thread regarding Knucklerot was posted on the forums; the first post was by Sensations about how terrible he (Knuckle) was and what a waste it was to get him Shadowmourne, as he is making his hunter his main. I made a post without reading the other twenty that basically told a story about how Knuckle got kicked out of an ICC pug for pulling trash and wiping us when he was on his hunter. Apparently, this touched a nerve and was removed almost immediately. I said, "Didn't like my forum post, eh?" in guild chat and quit a short while after.

From my own server, Ayerox - Agamaggan

Because today was the day raid IDs reset, there were plenty of pugs to join. One of these was for 25 Vault of Archavon. I joined it intending to tank, hoping that the 264 pants dropped. Sadly, they didn't. Usually I just leave right after I see that there is no loot for me, as I have no time for Koralon or the other two now worthless bosses, but I stayed as the raid leader was insistent that we down the Flame Watcher. I moseyed onward to clear the trash before the boss. Once that was down, I noticed that the other tank was no longer online. I stood there as the raid leader, Ayerox, typed a few times for the tanks to pull. I got sick of his ignorance and said, "The other tank is no longer online" and proceeded to leave the raid group. As I was walking out, Ayerox whispered me, "Told u to stay for fire u stupid shit" to which I replied, "the other tank left." His next words astounded me" "Solo tank it? Duh?" The only reply I had to that was "sigh." Apparently, he did not know that Koralon has a little ability called Meteor Fists. This deals roughly 50k damage which is intended to be split between two tanks. Seeing as I have 50K health in a raid setting, expecting me to survive those strikes is pure idiocy.

Here's to you, Ayerox, a warlock who should not be telling tanks what to do.

The strong and silent: Flyswatter - Greymane

It has been a while since I wrote about a fail player I found, but today that will change. The player in question was a Fury Warrior by the name of Flyswatter. His armory is listed below:

http://www.wowarmory.com/character-sheet.xml?r=Greymane&cn=Flyswatter

The problem: The random we were assigned to defeat together was Violet Hold, one of the easiest dungeons in the game. At first glance, he looked like he would be a good player, as all of his gear was 264. That turned out the be far from the truth. He was using Bryntroll as an offhand, which is not good at all. Proc weapons have no business being in the offhand for any melee class. Secondly, he had an inactive meta. He was using the crit + crit damage variety which requires two blue gems; he had only one. Upon inspection of his armory page, it turns out he has 506 hit and 38 expertise, which means he is over by roughly 370 and 10, respectively. He pulled a measly 4.2k dps overall. My warrior who's gear averages about 240 can easily pull over 5k. Flyswatter also did not use battle shout. I only brought up how bad Bryntroll is and how he had an inactive meta, to which I received no reply.

The solution: It would not be hard to fix him. All he would have to do would be to ditch the hit trinket, socket a blue gem, get some gear that didn't have hit and expertise, and learn to use cleave. Of course, that is easier said and done when you are a moron.

Clocks

A broken clock tells the correct time twice per day, but a clock set even a second off tells the correct time never.

Think about it.